This is U.K. writer Joseph Ridgwell’s third collection of short stories which follows his excellent small press publications Oswald’s Apartment & Other Stories (Blackheath Books, 2010) and Ridgwell Stories (Bottle of Smoke Press, New York, 2015). The book consists of ten short stories and Ridgwell uses a variety of points of view, genres and techniques to keep our “optics” closely adhered to the page.
Interestingly, Ridgwell sent me an early “proof” copy of the book with the title spelt “emporers nose”. He says of the proof, “Me and the editor were so focused on eradicating as many typos as possible from the MS, that the title was somewhat overlooked. It was the French poet Tom Buron who pointed out what would have been a disastrous mistake, after viewing an online image of the cover just weeks before we were due to publish.” He adds, “I think the printer had only made 4 copies with the spelling mistake, so it wasn’t as bad as it might have been.”
Ridgwell says passionately of the book’s construction and cover, “As you know these books are limited edition and each book is bound by hand. The printer had never attempted a short story collection before and he found it a struggle. He was used to doing small books of poetry. Some copies of EN are a little out of line, but I think it adds to their charm.
“The only thing I insisted on was that the book would be blurbless. I wanted a clean finish to the book and as you can see it doesn’t even have my name or the name of the collection on the spine. The printer used expensive card for the cover and high quality paper for the insides.
“It’s my belief that when producing a small press book, it should be of a higher quality than mainstream books. That might sound a bit snobby, but I prefer to put out books that look good as well as read well.
“And I’m not a book snob, for as you know, my work has appeared in countless DIY zines and pamphlets.”
Asked about how the choice of stories was assembled, Ridgwell says, “It was quickly decided that there would be a running line-up of 10 stories. The trouble then was picking ten, as I had over fifty stories to choose from. I can’t tell you how many times I changed the running order, but eventually we settled on 10 stories that we thought gave a broad overview of my work. The cover layout and design was by Jacob Louis Beany and this is acknowledged in the front piece.
“I am more than happy with how the book turned out, and am certain more editions will appear in print at some later date.”
The Emperor’s Nose & Other Tales is a highly readable collection of short stories. Ridgwell is quick to establish his settings and characters. His language is very accessible and he uses sharp, credible dialogue to propel his stories. Ridgwell keeps you guessing as to what will happen next and although some of the endings are shocking, they are always well prepared.
As in his classic Ridgwell Stories, Ridgwell experiments with his narrative point of view. Five of the stories, ‘Nepal (Goddess of the Valley), ‘Honduras’, ’The Carassius Racket’, ‘Good Time Girl’ and ‘Island Nights Entertainment’ feature Joe as the first person narrator and usually revolve around a backpacking adventure or catching up with old mates like Ronnie from Burrito Deluxe (Leamington Books, Edinburgh, 2015) or Nicole from The Buddha Bar (Blackheath Books, Blackheath, 2011).
The best and most imaginative of these stories is ‘The Carassius Racket’. Ronnie has adopted an alias, Mickey Modern because the cops are after him for earlier transgressions of the law. His latest scam involves him opening a chain of Goldfish Bowl nightclubs whose primary source of income is through the outlandish scheme of selling Nordic moonshine derived from alcohol enhanced fish to millennials. As Ronnie incredibly explains, “These fish have evolved a second set of proteins that take over in the absence of oxygen and convert lactic acid to alcohol, which is then dispersed through the fish’s butt… the longer they are in freezing, airless conditions, the higher the alcohol levels in the fish become.” The young people who frequent his bars lap the stuff up- and with zero hangover.
Perhaps the best and craziest stories in the collection are when Ridgwell branches out and engages in third person or omniscient narrations. This freedom allows the writer to create stuff without being bound by the concrete of reality.
‘The Blind Man of Billingham’ is an outstanding cautionary tale which uses elements of science fiction in the H.G. Wellsian tradition. The protagonist, Robert Southey, has been blind since the age of 2. Enter a couple of prominent scientists- Roger Hangton-Smith, psychologist and Emeritus Professor of Neuropsychology at Oxford University and the ambitious American ophthalmologist Trent Bloodman.
Bloodman is pioneering a corneal transplant stem-cell procedure and offers Robert £100,000 to be a part of his experiment, in the hope that if successful, he may be awarded a Nobel Prize- thus achieving immortality.
Like Wells in his early 20thCentury novels, such as The First Man On The Moon, Ridgwell provides the reader with brief but seemingly credible science, to suspend their sense of disbelief.
Another highly memorable short story in the collection, one of the longest in the collection is ‘Leaving Kafr el-Sheikh’. Ridgwell uses an omniscient narrator to trace the tragic plight of four young Egyptian economic migrants who undertake considerable risks to illegally travel to London to meet up with one of the boy’s cousins. They see Ra as a role model- with his high-performance car, adorned “in plenty of bling” – with a beautiful girl beside him.
The boys’ journey is one of hardship and terrible tragedy. Ridgwell deconstructs their hopes and dreams- through a series of realistically drawn events.
The best short story in the collection, I reckon is the titular piece ‘Emperor’s Nose’. It is an outrageous narrative in which the sadistic petty crims Bud and Raoul scheme to raid the mansion of ‘The Emperor of Scent’, the fabulously wealthy Edward Bond, and take him hostage and demand he pay a ransom for his release. Bond has made his fortune through the artist genius of his olfactory glands- in the words of Bud- his “conk.”
Like many of Ridgwell’s stories, it is highly economical and works through dramatic irony- the reader knows the baddies are scheming to pose as delivery men to drop off a crystal chandelier but as Bond plies his rich neighbour Lady Cressida Clalfort-Post with his latest potion loveLOVElove like Puck in Midsummer Night’s Dream, they are oblivious to the vileness which is about to be inflicted upon them.
This is an amazing and varied short story collection which significantly adds to Ridgwell's impressive work.
As Joseph Ridgwell heads towards the big “Hawaii Five-O”, his 7thcollection of poetry ‘She Moves Through The Fair’ will be out later this year through Kilmog Press, who are based in Dunedin, New Zealand. His short story ‘Islands Night Entertainment’ in EN will actually be a chapter from his latest novel- The Island, which is the latest instalment of the Ridgwell saga.
