This is the first collection of poetry by the Pittsburgh poet,
Michael Marrotti. The book consists of 24 confessional poems which candidly
reveal Marrotti’s “chemical imbalance” and his use of prescription and other “bonus”
drugs to help stabilise his wildly caustic moods. The persona of the poems,
Marrotti, wavers between a bored, limp-dicked lethargy when drying out and a
manic, defiant boisterousness that can only be calmed through a flush of pills.
The title FDA Approved
Poetry is an obvious reference to Marrotti’s use of prescription drugs. FDA
refers to the U.S. Food & Drug Administration which is a federal department
responsible for protecting public health through the control and supervision of
many items, including food, tobacco, as well as prescription and over the
counter pharmaceutical drugs. Marrotti says of the title, “I have a chemical
imbalance. I’ve decided to combat my disorder with chemistry, safe chemistry,
hence the title. I’ve never been a gambling man. The FDA gives the general
public the courtesy of knowing if harmful side effects occur in the approved
medications.”
The front cover of the book is predominately black with the
reader’s main focus on an orange pill container which has twenty or so anonymous
white prescription pills spilled out on a table.
The book is curiously prefaced by a quote from Joseph
Bonanna, who was a New York City mob boss: “True power is self control.” The
book is largely about Marrotti’s struggle with his mental condition and whether
he can muster enough inner strength to master his addiction to prescribed pills.
Like millions of other Americans, pills bring him temporary calm and order but
also subjugation. Marrotti expresses best this dilemma at the conclusion of the
poem, “Take One Three Times A Day”:
This dependency
is slavery
but it’s the only
form I know
that offers
emancipation.
FDA Approved Poetry
was self published by Marrotti through Create Space. Marrotti, like many a
young (and older) writer, recently explained to me his frustration and
impatience in seeing his work in print, “I’ve had all the luck in the world
when it comes to digital publications. For some odd reason when it comes to
paper and ink, suddenly my writing is insufficient. I probably could’ve found a
publisher had I felt like waiting for another year.”
In a later rant, he spat the dummy after discovering how the
American poet Jack Henry abandoned writing after the publication of his harrowing
tale of meth addition in his outstanding book CRUNKED: “This fucking small press scene is ridiculous. It’s like
all the throw away books get accolades, and the noteworthy ones are discarded
like condoms. Makes no sense to me.”
I have read a few books related to and inspired by illicit
drug use but this is the first book I’ve read about the taking and subsequent
addiction to registered quack prescribed drugs. This issue is highly relevant,
particularly in view of America’s for profit driven health economy. It is far
cheaper for health insurers to prescribe pills than to provide on-going,
quality face-to-face consultations to its clients.
Marrotti is reticent to reveal his specific mental condition
or the medications he has been prescribed, but says of his intent, “Anyone who’s
familiar with drug culture will appreciate this book. The purpose of the book
is to entertain, enlighten and safely express myself. Readership wouldn’t be
bad either. For me, poetry is a viable alternative to violence. I come from a
hostile past. Plenty of people have been injured, including myself. There’s a
scar underneath my left eye to prove it.”
In FDA Approved Poetry,
you will find the occasional reference related to the grinding of pills and the
snorting of lines, but typically the drug taking is described in a clinical,
by-the-book way. The daily fucked-up life of a pill-popper is frayed open on
every page- the isolation, the sense of panic & desperation of getting
scrips filled and the constant stomping on the face of the human spirit by the authorities.
We come to understand better the comfort of the legal highs delivered
to the disaffected. The poem “Take One Three Times A Day” aptly describes the
soothing nature of the pharmaceutical drugs:
Chemicals flow
down the stream
of disorder
Dissolving in a
matter of minutes
a mitigation of
countless hours
Contradicting
these caustic feelings
they’ve been by
my side throughout
this tumultuous journey
Similarly, in “Whiteness Without The Guilt,” Marrotti metaphorically
describes his packet of his pills as:
Symmetrical
perfection
easily
concealed
Tranquillity
in my pocket
whiteness
without
the guilt
A bitter
taste that
contradicts
the bitterness
of the past
It lasts long
enough to
make it stop
In “The Chemical Rebellion” Marrotti interestingly shows how
his pocket of pills can also inflate his ego to the extent that he sees himself
as some kind of prescription pill outlaw, ready to take on the deplorable filth
of the planet:
The Chemical Rebellion
Today was an
extraordinary day
it wasn’t like the rest
those other days
just sucked
Sucked the life
right out of you
But not today
for the
prescription
is near
With this bottle
and these straws
we rebel against
the atrocities of
this callous planet
In solidarity we blow
like the wind
to separate ourselves
from the filth
We blow like a hurricane
until we transcend
looking down
upon them
We blow until our minds
are expunged of all
deplorable human
characteristics
Blowing it away
euphoria, a sweet euphoria
it’s extraordinary
days like these
that even the losers
have an opportunity
to win
(reprinted with the permission of the poet)
Some of the stronger poems in the collection are those
written by Marrotti when he is off the chemical shit. Poems, such as, “The
Cleansing”, “My Brain Without Drugs”, “The Inevitability of Drugs”, “Two
Disorders Don’t Make A Right” allow the poet to place a broader perspective on events
and to speak more clearly about his own fallibilities. In “The Drought”, the
last poem in the collection, he makes some personally penetrating observations about the
road ahead as he attempts to get straight:
The Drought
I’ve been stuck
in a tunnel for seven days
looking for a glimpse
of sunshine
or a feeling that once was
if only I could replace
lethargy with luck
I’d be one step closer
To my favourite destination
The more I travel
the more I lose touch
with who I was
where I was going
and what I’ve become
Reluctantly working
for my own independence
this is a fateful choice
I would never voluntarily
choose.
Here I stagger
as I attempt
to get straight
in every crooked path
or faithless thought
denouncing
my self inflicted struggle
crawling like the parasites
who capitalize off others
until they reached their peak
I’ll get back to the top
if I have to construct
my own ladder
(reprinted with the permission of the poet)
In the end, Michael Marrotti is ambivalent towards the drugs
he has downed and does not let the reader in as to whether he has cured his
dependence. In “White Clouds Of Elation” he disdainfully says: “only a/
follower/ would/ submit/to/ program,” and in a later poem “ Better Living
Through Chemistry,” adds: “the only thing/ that’s for sure/ is the chemicals/
and refills/ inside this little bottle.” In “My Brain Without Drugs” he further expresses that he has no regrets about what he has achieved in the past:
I gotta say for the most part
I enjoyed the ride
nothing says achievement
like time well wasted
Wasted I was
These are gritty poems, largely devoid of humour. In “Fight Of My Life” Marrotti concedes that
he’s “swallowed/ thousands/ of pills” and fought and drank and fucked but,
“It’s a losing battle/ I never seem to win.” Yet amongst this sense of
bleakness and despair, Marrotti discovers in his words moments
of hope, transcendence and the occasional orgasm.
I’d be lying if I said this book was flawless because it is
raw and shit full of gaping holes. But here you have another example of a young
man prepared to stick his neck out on the block and spill his life’s blood onto the page. As Marrotti momentously expressed in a recent edition of Indiana
Voice Journal, “I have no inclination to partake in a pretentious event. I’m
not writing to impress the competition. I’m writing to express the agony of
living in this callous world of redundancy.”
Buy the book here: https://www.amazon.com/F-D-Approved-Poetry-Michael-Marrotti/dp/153907577X
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