Meth Lab
It is good to see the entrepreneurial spirit
alive and well, young people branching out,
diversifying, not doing what their parents did
or their parents before;
people coming and going like books
checked out of the library
banging on the door at all hours:
shaky, thin, in tatters -
up on lifted feet, peering into darkened windows,
a blue stained mattress in the front yard
nearly swallowed up by overgrown brush
there is no one to cut the lawn
the great indoors, everyone busy inside,
and when the cops come finally
they will find all those funnels
and something on the stove
that is not mother’s
cooking.
For Your Viewing Pleasure
First the woman came in.
A gringo girl, blonde,
just like the Chicanos liked them,
sprinkled in many oils
hamming it up for the
crowd.
Then they brought in the donkey
stage right
from behind a musty brown curtain
and forced it to mount the woman
from behind
with a series of ropes
and pulleys.
And I thought of Catherine the Great.
All those animal rights crazies throwing buckets
of their menstrual blood
over glamorous fur-coat
celebs.
But this was Mexico.
Life was cheap.
The drinks too.
And the way the donkey squealed
you could tell it wanted no part
of that woman.
As if it had been a man of God
or a pencil sharpener
or a raging
homosexual
in a past
life.
Interest Rates Rise with a Gun in Your Face
Ski-masks in summer
there must be a bank nearby
and a getaway vehicle legally parked
somewhere
to avoid surprises
and the men brandishing guns
run by
and their guns run by
as well
on their way
to be stuck in the face
of some lucky
lady
who thought her
low fat yogurt would be
the highlight of
her
day.
Jobs Don’t Look for People
and I had many resumes
out all over the place
and many more
in a polished black case
under my arm
from a second hand shop
2000 miles away
that made me look more like
a travelling Adventist
then a prospective
hire
and every day at noon
I would watch the kid dressed up
as a medieval bard
offer a single red rose to passing couples
then compose a song on the spot
to the maiden in question
so that the boyfriend was a cheapskate
if he didn’t buy the full bouquets
of half dead flowers from
the black bucket
at the bard’s bell-slippered feet
it was a real good hustle
I watched it every
day
as I popped pimples on my 21 year old face
and wondered why the inner harbour
always smelled of garbage.
The Firefighters
The fire engine
pulled up to the curb
and the firefighters
jumped out.
There were four of them
all laughing
as they quickly unzipped
stood over a homeless man
laying on a subway grate
aimed their firehouses
and sprayed.
The homeless man didn’t even stir.
He may have been dead.
Then the firefighters
all jumped back in the fire engine
and sped away.
Presumably
to the next
fire.
Carbon Dating my Farts Back to the Bums
of Galilee
They wanted to know
why the painter had painted a flying saucer
into the back of his annunciation painting
back in 1600
but the painter was long dead
so they dug him up
and interviewed his bones
with many cameras
laid out anatomically
more or less
on a long white tarp
in conference room C
of some big shot hotel
with its own bottled
water.
Question after question.
For many hours.
But the painter remained mum.
Which only added
to his legend.
Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a happily unmarried proud father of none. He lives in Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada with a nurse that drives a big blacked out truck and many bears that roam the streets going through his garbage.
