Book Review Jim Haynes: Best Australian DRINKING STORIES (Allen & Unwin, Sydney, 2018) 270 pages

I first became aware of this anthology through an ABC podcast of Jim Haynes’s audiobook during Trevor Chappell’s Overnights broadcast a few months ago. Haynes, an ex-teacher, has recently published several anthologies through Allen & Unwin including; The Best Australian Sea Stories, The Best Australian Bush Stories, The Best Australian Trucking Stories, The Best Australian Yarns and the like: https://www.allenandunwin.com/authors/h/jim-haynes

In the audiobook, Jim Haynes uses his own voice to narrate many of the poems, short stories and social histories within this collection. I was drawn into the book, because at the time, I was writing my own set of pub short stories called The Empty Glass, which is scheduled to be published in early 2020. I was trying to figure out if my work was interesting and contemporary and I closely examined DRINKING STORIES to see what I could glean from it. 

Disappointingly, much of the focus of Haynes’s anthology is a nostalgic and sentimental one- looking back on the drinking history and culture of Australia’s long bygone days. About a third of the book comprises of Hayne’s social histories

which are clearly written and entertaining but very general and largely undocumented. 

His best and longest study is of “The Valentine’s Day Mutiny” in which Australian soldiers in 1916 rioted to protest the terrible barrack conditions in Liverpool NSW and went on a wild riot, ransacking several pubs and drinking them dry until order was eventually restored. Referendums in 1917 supported by the temperance movement lead to restrictive laws which banned the serving of booze in pubs after 6 pm until 1955 in New South Wales and 1966 in Victoria.

 Also impressive are “The 99^thRegiment Are Revolting” about the 1846 mutiny and “The Alcoholic History of Australia” in which Haynes provides us with an overview of the role of grog in our history.

The cover perhaps provides a telling clue as to what the reader might expect from the anthology. It appears to depict a 1950s pub crowd of men and women happily toasting  drinks. A superimposed clock reads 10 pm. They are probably celebrating the end to the Six O’Clock Swill- which happened nearly 65 years ago.

For copyright reasons, a lot of the material is very dated- first published in the early 20^thCentury. Despite its title BEST DRINKING STORIES there are only 18 short stories in the collection, including four by Haynes. His best work is his short stories such as “There’s A Patron Saint of Drunks” about Dipso Dan, a hometown drunk from Haynes’s fictional town of Weelabarabak, which he has compiled stories since the 1980s and “Charlie’s Story” about Charlie’s reminiscences about his old man who was badly wounded during World War 2. 

Overall of the 62 pieces in the anthology 36 are poems, 14 of are anonymous and many others are by long dead bush poets such as Steel Rudd, Henry Lawson, C.J. Dennis and E.G. Murphy.

Easily the best work in the anthology is by Kenneth Cook of Wake In Fright fame. His short story “One Hundred Stubbies” especially, and “Snakes and Alcohol” and “The Drunken Kangaroo” are incredibly humorous and brilliantly written! Of more than passable note are the short stories “The Final Meeting of the Book Club” by Jacqueline Kent, “The Lobster and the Lioness” by Ernest O’Ferrall and “The Six O’clock Swells” by Frank Daniel.

Should the reader want to pursue it further, few acknowledgements are made of where the material first appeared. For instance, I had to google  to find out that Kenneth Cook’s “One Hundred Stubbies” was first published in his short story collection The Killer Koala (Sydney, Tortoiseshell Press, 1986, pages 29-36) which is out of print. 

Haynes is a successfully anthologiser of Australian writing but this is feel-good, tame stuff. No swearing, no drunks losing the plot- and consequently, no real insight into the contemporary culture of drinking in Australia. The small brewery hipster movement, alcohol and violence, illicit gambling and prostitution in Kings Cross in the 1970s and 1980s and the inane lock-out laws (recently overturned) totally unimbibed.

Look inside the book at Booktopia: https://www.booktopia.com.au/best-australian-drinking-stories-jim-haynes/book/9781760632908.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiAiZPvBRDZARIsAORkq7dcT7maq6rnj9fi7orG1lZpPt3rSWzDNDAgfYgT3h9T8ElSuAU9kOAaAjFfEALw_wcB

Also discover my thoughts about Jim's amthology and how it helped shape my novel The Empty Glass, previously published by Alien Buddha Press, as well as links to blurbs about it here: https://draft.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/2898768564399502953/8839712248849047931

BOOK REVIEW: Slim Spires SLIM: AN AUSTRALIAN BIKER’S TALE OF SEX & DRUGS, COPS & VIOLENCE. Sydney, Allen & Unwin, 2012 (265 pages).

Publisher’s blurb: Slim Spires was born in England and moved to Australia with his family when he was eight. He has worked in a bank, as a psychiatric nurse, owned a motorcycle accessories shop and worked as a cook. He has done three short prison stints. Slim lives in Melbourne.

This biographical account of Slim Spires’ adventures is a series of loosely connected anecdotes which largely occurred over thirty years ago when Slim was a young and reckless nut-case. The stories are simply and clearly told from Spires’ in-your-face perspective and are often directly addressed at the reader to create a greater sense of intimacy. He inserts about a dozen personal photos to add to the authenticity of his accounts. Many of the stories are highly entertaining and amusing but there is a disturbing, vicious streak in Spires as he is ready to ‘fuck over’ anyone who has the misfortune of accidentally crossing his path. 

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SLIM is Spires’, aged 61, first book in which he collects stories he has been telling his mates about his shady past for years. After meeting Andy McPhee the actor from Sons of Anarchy he was referred to the writing teacher Ray Mooney and filmmaker Alkinos Tsilimidos who encouraged Spires to compile this book for possible publication. In the Afterword he hints of more bikie tales to come.  

There are forty-four non-fiction stories in SLIM and the book is structured under five self explanatory headings: 

I Stories From the Road

II Cops

III In Jail

IV Tall Tales and True

V Brawls and Fisticuffs

The language is characteristically shitfaced raw and adopts a smart-assed, ‘fuck you and fuck your system attitude,’ particularly in the first three sections. Some of the better stories in the collection, such as, ‘You’re Wanted on the Phone’, ‘At the Drive-In’, ‘Stand-Off On Tom Ugly’s Bridge’ and ‘Ten Days of Amenities’ show Spires defiantly confronting cops and screws from an anti-authoritarian stance that no one is to fuck with him and that he has ‘nothing to lose.’

Other strong stories reveal Spiers’ reluctance to take shit from anyone and usually results in him giving some poor sucker a savage beating, as in the fellow prisoner in ‘Going to Jail’, the obnoxious driver in “Road Rage’ and the rude mechanic in ‘Can You Change a Tyre?’ This tough guy image is unapologetic, with each of his victims getting what they rightly deserve, apart from the waiter in ‘You Again’ who ducks into a beauty, being mistaken for sleaze bag office worker.

Perhaps the best stories avoid the punch-in-your-face subtlety typical of Spires’ writing. ‘Look Who Came to Dinner’ where the Slim accidentally attends the wrong party and ‘Where’s the Sofa?’ in which the author sets fire to a clubhouse sofa because it stinks of the sweat and grime of an ‘untidy oversized guy’. Both these stories are genuinely humorous and don’t attempt to resort to fisticuffs to get their point across. Also highly impressive are his work related stories, such as, ‘The Paint Shop’ and ‘A Bet’s a Bet’ which would make Bukowski’s ghost drool with excitement.

Throughout the book there is an innovative insert called ‘SLIM SAYS’ where Spires periodically provides us with some of his hard-fought, simple bikie aphorisms. The most memorable include, ‘Psychopaths have feelings too, you know’ and ‘If something’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.’

These stories represent three and a half decades of Spires’ life and as they are propelled by anecdotes you don’t get the sense of continuity you would in a more cohesive work. He is highly selective in the stories he tells. He only indirectly refers to his bikie club involvement and in the book drugs and sex are marginalized. The stories are often more about his personally meted out sense of justice and the satisfaction he derives from it.

Overall, Spires as a young man comes across as a vicious psychopath, but he has redeeming qualities and sometimes reveals his vulnerabilities, as in ‘The Japanese Hostel’ when he searches for a toilet in his jocks pissed and gets lost. There is a wonderful photo of him near the end of the book entitled ‘Who’s cooking? 1995’ which shows a more humane side to Spires. He is replete in chef’s hat and garb. You really have to admire Spires' tenacity in bringing this book together and in Allen & Unwin in taking the financial risk in publishing it.

This is a fascinating and real account of stories which provide a voice for a sub-culture which stereo-typically has remained secret or illiterate.

Notes:

Despite being published by Allen & Unwin, a mainstream Australian publisher, it is difficult to find previous informed reviews of the book. Nor is there any evidence of Spires ‘hitting the highway’ to help sell his book.

Find a brief sampling from the Preface and the book’s index of chapters here: http://ebooks.gleebooks.com.au/product/9781742695945

 Buy a signed copy of the book here: http://slimspires.com/

Buy an inexpensive copy of the book here: http://ebooks.gleebooks.com.au/product/9781742695945